I decided to wait until our adoption went through before sharing details, so here is how we came to be matched with our sweet boys and Mama W. Here’s what I had written in November:
We’ve had our home visit, answered hundreds of questions, waited on government clearances and as of November 7, are now officially a waiting and active family!
On Monday, November 7 (date is important here), I had a call with our consultant, Courtney, to walk us through the matching process and how it works. By that evening, we already had our first profiles to review.
In domestic adoption, we are sent profiles of expectant mom’s (EM) that match our criteria (race, gender, drug exposure, etc.) and then we say yes or no on presenting our profile book to her. The more selective you are will typically increase your wait time, so we were completely open to race, gender, multiples (this is important too), etc. The EM will then select a family. Some profiles have a lot of information on both parents, photos and a detailed history and others are very vague and just cover the basic information. So it was slightly overwhelming to start reading through them, but hey, I’ve just determined that’s how adoption goes.
On Thursday, November 10, we got a profile for “W” who was expecting twin boys. We originally said no to this profile because of the cost, which was higher than we had planned. Courtney walked us through the fees and we decided to say yes. The profile was extremely brief and we honestly didn’t have much to go on.
On Sunday, November 13, we put Carson down for a nap and I had a voicemail from Courtney saying “W” had seen our profile and wanted to talk to us and another family. I think my heart stopped when I heard those words and didn’t catch up properly for the entire day. We immediately called her back and I was expecting the call to be later in the week, which would have killed me to wait, but she said “W” wanted to talk today. The social worker set up a conference call for 4:30, but it ended up being around 6:30 by the time it happened. We were both a bundle of nerves. It was like getting ready for the most stressful blind date in history!!
As soon as we got on the phone, we just clicked. We talked for about 30 minutes-sometimes the conversation turned to the adoption, but mostly we were just getting to know one another. Once the call was over, we knew she still had another family to talk to. We both felt like the call went so well and we really, really liked her. However, we were extremely afraid to get our hopes up, so we were afraid to voice that too much. We prayed for her to have peace making the decision and us to have peace over the next few days until we heard a yes or no.
The next morning, Carson and I went to run some errands because I knew I would go nuts sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring. Courtney had not heard anything from the social worker after the call, so we didn’t have anything to go on.
Carson and I were headed home around 3 and he fell asleep. I was on the phone with my boss when my phone beeped and showed “Courtney”. I hung up quickly to take her call; again, my heart immediately went into overtime. The minute she said, “hey”, I just knew.
“W” picked us.
I was driving down the interstate as she told me. I have imagined this moment hundreds of times and honestly, once she told me that she picked us and we were matched, the next words are a complete blur. It was the BEST phone call of my life. Nick was at work for another hour, but I knew he was on pins and needles, so even though I wanted to tell him in person, I couldn’t wait.
“W” and the social worker called us that night because she wanted to tell us herself that she had chosen us. She told us she picked us and “Merry Christmas.” The fact that she wanted to call and tell us herself just absolutely blew me away and is a complete answer to prayer. I can’t imagine how hard that conversation had to be from her side. We both told her how happy we were that she called us herself, but also tried to be very respectful of her feelings with our enthusiasm. Until going through it first-hand, I have never considered the extreme emotions of adoption. Something that will bring such joy and happiness to us is complete heartbreak for someone else. I’ve talked about how hard this infertility and adoption journey has been for us, but seeing this side of it makes me realize that I’ll still never know that type of loss. We have such respect for her and always will.
How is that for a match process? In case you weren’t following those dates, we were active on Monday, November 7 and matched on Monday, November 7. Y’all. One week. ONE week! I have had some very specific prayers through this and two of them were for 1) a quick match 2) a chance to get to know the expectant mama. How about God answering that first prayer?! I just had to laugh when it happened because he was clearly showing me how BIG of miracles he can work. Prayer 2 has been answered as well, so stay tuned!
I posted this on Facebook after we matched and had the best times reading reactions when people realized it said BABIES J! Nick and I always said we wanted three kids, but didn’t know if we would be able to adopt again. Clearly God had that taken care of as well.